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July 2000 E-Zine Issue

A PAGAN IN THE MIDST
Monthly Column by Jennifer Rogers©2000

Inner Voices

(The good, the Bad, and the Ugly)

Don’t be afraid.  These are not the voices people hear who already have a reservation for a mental institution telling them to” kill, kill, kill”.  These are our inner voices.  The same ones that tell you it is safe to cross the road “NOW!” Or say, you can ace that test.  Unfortunately, their negative twins follow them closely behind.  The negative ones, that tell you “Why rock the boat. Sure you deserve a raise, but what if the boss takes offense and fires you.  Leave it alone”.

I think we all struggle with our inner voices from time to time.  It’s as if we have two individuals dwelling in our brain.  One is a disciple from the motivational and empowering Tony Robin’s School of Positive Thinking. The other is a plain, pessimistic disciple from Hell.

We admit we have all heard those faint voices cheering us on a race. It could be a rally race or a race to be on time to an important appointment.  How about the race in our daily life’s to overcome controversy? If we would hear that voice from time to time, life would flow on an even keel without doubt, without anguish.  The one that tells you to get up, dust yourself off and keep going that is definitely the “good” voice. 

Where there is “good” there is it's counterpart “bad”.  Bad is the voice that gives you all the self-doubt in the world.  The one that tells you, “no matter what you do it is never good enough”.  “No matter how you fix it, it will never be as good as new”.  Nothing is ever doable or possible.  So here comes the “ugly”, the part that lets the bad overrules the good and defeats it, thereby following it up with name-calling.  “You’re a loser, you’ll never amount to anything”.  Ever heard that?  That is your “Ugly Voice” coming in loud and clear. Now that we have established the players and the fact that most of us have them (or at least are not afraid to admit we do) how do we choose what to listen to and most importantly, believe in?

One way would be to visualize the end result of the advice from either voice. 

Can you live with the outcome?  Only you can truly answer that.  If you give up on a dream whose backside will you be kicking in a few months or years?  If you go forth and succeed who will reap the rewards?  Life is full of choices. Those inner voices can be treated as providers of those choices.  Listen, reflect and weigh the results.  The answer ultimately rests on your shoulders.    Usually when you hear one voice there is always one other following close behind, sometimes in a much-muted voice giving you the other option.  Listen very carefully. Don’t let the bully, forceful, loud voice win over the perhaps, more educated soft and logical one.  Remember, the voices can’t tell you what to do, they are only suggestions.

Life must be lived in balance; it is always a give and take situation.  Unless you live alone, life is a series of compromises. Even when you think you’re the king or queen of the castle, there are always compromises to be made.  Nobody has absolute power over every circumstance in his or her life.  Out of every situation we encounter, there is something we can do to make it the best for that moment in time.  Once, that is done, that is all you can hope for.  There is no point second-guessing, for it is done.

The ultimate goal is to make decisions that will benefit your life, whether it is committing to making a healthy relationship work or to quit a job that is too stressful.  Remember the best part of getting somewhere, should be the journey that takes you there.  Make sure every step taken is a positive one.  There is no point dwelling in the past. What could have happened, didn’t.  What should not have been said, was said.

Come on!  Move on!  Keep propelling forward and let each moment be enjoyed as if the minutes actually counted.  I feel that pretty soon, the end results will be so exhilarating the negativity will have fallen behind, never to catch up again.  I’m not saying that you’ll never have self-doubts. We all have those in new situations or unfamiliar surroundings, but next time Mr. Ugly says, “You can’t do it, you don’t have what it takes” Just shrug your shoulders, knock him off and pay close attention to Ms. Good, who might be saying “Let’s try it, it might be a nice new challenge, you can do it”. (Mr. and Ms. Can be interchanged, no gender depreciation intended here).  Listen to your inner voices. Don’t forget you are the one with the power to pick and choose and make the final decision.  Don’t let the voices rule, but allow them to guide you.

My inner voice says, “It’s time to go.”  Till next time, make wise choices and enjoy them.

Jennifer

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